During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
