I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
