She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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