so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
should my penis look like a turkey
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
