It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
