Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
