I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
