My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
