either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
