I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
