i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i was born a porn star she said
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
