At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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