that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
