I think I won the penis lottery.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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