I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
