OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
