She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
