how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
