There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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