so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
