he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
