Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
