so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
