Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize