The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
