True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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