did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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