My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
