I think I am morally bankrupt
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I can't put those talents on a resume
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
