Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
