Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
