i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
