is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
