your parents love me but you hate me
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
