He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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