also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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