I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
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