Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
