i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
