Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
