you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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