There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i will never coherently bang her
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
