I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
