you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
