part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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