well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
