I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
