just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
