he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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