North Korea, Best Korea!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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