Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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