I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
